Men in Charge

As another gesture of conceptual cruelty, this episode title is slickly ambiguous. Is “Fish” a verb, referring to baiting and hooking the timid to yank them out of the stream? Or is “Fish” a noun, suggesting that bags of ripe fillets will be dumped on the porches of those too timid to venture out of doors? Too many options, right? So let’s just get to the episode, which is the first of three trilogic parts:

Tony and Kevin are distracted from exploring the nuances, as well as the very substance, of this episode’s title because two cast members (we’ll call them “Liz” and “Luke”) had to be let back inside the studio because the rain was pouring hard and cold, and their noses had been pressed flat against the window for over an hour. After our hosts light Liz and Luke a little trash fire to stay warm in the station lobby, they’re able to proceed with the episode.

In this unfortunately titled episode, Kevin and Tony explain why, however bold the Bold are, Mold always wins out in the end because it’s, well, mold. Whether the mold has a shiny green sheen or a crumbly black quality, even the boldest get moldy. But we don’t want to give away the ending. The show’s first segment is “Tony and Kevin Invite Your Mom to Breakfast” because breakfast is the most important meal of the day if you want to start the day bloated.

Tony and Kevin decide that since England gets a Scotland, the New America is entitled to one as well, so they choose Canada. Canadians waste their time receiving affordable health care all day, and likewise hey waste all their natural resources by failing to exploit them. Best for Canadians to hand over the reins to their overlords in the New America, our hosts conclude.

It’s that late-winter, consumerist hit holiday again, Valentine’s Day, and naturally our thoughts turn to our love for mollusks. As clams and whelks press their horrid little bodies against your ankles with hopes of being your Valentine, listen to the wisdom of Tony and Kevin in order to learn how to shake them off without offending them. Today’s show is all about the love of mollusks, starting with the classic “One on One Couples Therapy” with Doctor Mike.