Men in Charge

While Ensign Zinn chases the paradigmatically uninterested Cadet Cindy, Farley Stubbs and Lt. Nemesis (“That’s Nem-EE-sis!”) are chased by a radically changed Cadet Billy, who has put on the glowing nametag dropped by Professor Shadowy. Lt. Schickelgruber and Crewman #4, who’s found a nametag that calls her “Spanky Halles,” have found something to grit the path with. Captain Major meets a figure from his past: Old Shep, who first got him hooked on space gin and milk. But it’s the kick from the milk you have to watch out for.

Still on a mission to Mars to quell the native insurrection there, the Earth Space Force rocket Vanguard ends up, somehow, on Mercury. Having no daily rotation (unlike the coffee pots at Einstein’s Bagels), Mercury has a cold side and an hot side—and woe betide anyone who strays out of the temperate zone ringing its middle like a spandex waistband of eternal safety. Crewman #4 and Lt. Schickelgruber explore the planet with the aid of the unhelpful Phil, the Used Android, while nearby, the evil Rocketmen from Planet B plot to take over the Vanguard.

If you’ve ever wondered what makes “Men in Charge” cast member Ryan Weldon tick, then this episode is bound to disappoint. First, Ryan plays America’s favorite sidekick, Jeff Schmaltz, as he assists Master Chef Heidegger in making Obtuse Cake—a true Event of Being.  Next it’s “Multiverse Playhouse,” where we extract parallel versions of your favorite “Men in Charge” characters from alternative universes, then kill them off quickly.

An unrelievedly clever episode, this half-hour of heartless joy is a journey into the history—present and future—of Emily Wellingtonford, Canadian Mine Owner and Usurer. From her early childhood episodes of gun play, to her young womanhood in pursuit of unwholesome pleasures, to her mature years as the head of corn-based snack product empire, we’re led through Emily’s history/dream life by famed radio host ghost, Anders Lurkawhile. See the miners’ children in their paddock!

As Tony and Kevin run like shackled fugitives through Season 5, they break the mic with this episode. Luckily they have a spare, however, so that they can bring you the following audio treasures.  First, Didier Vendange, Disgruntled Belgian Talk Radio host, takes to the streets of Cincinnati, USA, to broadcast from a studio van reinforced with Belgian steel. Because this is the New America, guns are involved, of course.  After that, Kevin and Tony once again try to unclog the spam filter and receive a handsome offer from a man named “Mrs.